Superstore, much like the owner of whoever’s foot flew off during that freak tornado, has been dead for a considerable amount of time. As a result of America Ferrera’s departure from the series in pursuit of “the next chapter for [her] family and career,” the show was officially canceled by NBC following its 100th episode, with the final installments of Season 6 being released in March 2021. However, that little setback hasn’t stopped the dedicated and loyal Superstore fanbase from rapidly expanding as they lay in wait for the hopeful revival of their favorite workplace sitcom.

Even in spite of the show’s notable absence of new seasons, one of the best parts about consuming any television series is developing an unavoidable parasocial relationship with its main characters that eventually ends in tears (and the compulsive desire to find a new gang of oddballs to obsess over — much like the process of trying to replace a bad ex-boyfriend, but without all the obligatory shaving). Thankfully, there will always be a place on the internet to debate with others about which characters are funny and which are just nightmares, and as such, here is a list of the Superstore characters, ranked worst to best.

10 Marcus

Marcus, also known as fittingly off-brand Ryan Reynolds, is a sales associate and part-time shower pooper, who, in the proud tradition of former Cloud 9 employees, temporarily went to prison for public urination. In addition to his recurring proclivity for thinking with his pelvis (rendering his name as an anagram for “sacrum” relevant), he collects DUIs like they’re Pokémon cards. He also seems to have a fondness for ruining various body parts in gross-yet-preventable accidents, and when the moment calls for a noble volunteer to clean up a puddle of rapidly congealing yogurt goo, he simply will not do it. Yet, he wants everyone to go for a drink with him after work? Not happening, dude. Also, did you steal those headphones?

9 Glenn

Glenn is lovely. Glenn is so tremendously, unequivocally, debilitatingly lovely, that you can’t help but want to scoop up his loveliness into a big spoon and jab him in the eye with it. It’s not his fault he talks like a Muppet and has the management skills of a damp piece of lettuce — he’s just such a good guy that, for the most part, people don’t want to stoop to take advantage of him.

Related: 15 Best Modern Sitcoms, Ranked

However, despite his aforementioned naivety and good nature, Glenn also deserves a place so low down on this list as a result of his significant flaws; most prominently, the fact that he takes thirteen sugars in his coffee (seriously, how has he made it to 58?). That, along with the fact that a good chunk of his ancestors were likely slave-traders, and that he probably-more-likely-than-not groomed his wife into going out with him, back when those things rotated on the Rolodex of casual pastimes. Sorry, Glenn. Turns out, even after 50 years, the name “Sturgis” is still synonymous with tools.

8 Mateo

Have you ever seen that YouTube video of a small honey badger viciously attacking a pack of lions? (You know, that group of stereotypically docile, non-lethal animals). That angry little nose-biting omnivorous mammal is known as Mateo Liwanag in animal form. When watching him from the comfort of your television screen, you wouldn’t be foolish to think he’s simply a “loyal, hard-working employee with great skin,” but if you were ever unfortunate enough to actually manage a register with him in real life, you’d be justified in claiming Workman’s Comp for emotional damages. In other words, Mateo is a man who, if unable to channel his rage into his competitive spirit and immoderate devotion to Beyoncé, could probably chop you up into little pieces and leave your cubed remains in the freezer aisle. After all, he has eaten human flesh before. Terrifying.

7 Cheyenne

Contrary to the relationship that ties Cheyenne and Bo together, Cheyenne and Glenn are the true (platonic) soulmates of the bunch — kind, sweet, gentle angel babies who, though they lack some intellect usually found in post-primordial beings, are always up for an adventure and a new way to inhale cancer-giving fruit juice. In fact, Cheyenne, with her varyingly colorful highlights and prank-themed wedding raps, could be perceived as the beginning of the “accidentally-crappy-but-generally lovable” subsection of the Superstore clan; rarely evil, but frequently selfish, which is probably an accurate testament to most people undergoing the disastrous ordeal that is adolescence. Plus, she has to deserve some kind of cosmic discount for having a friend named “Corona” in these trying times (if 2022 still counts).

6 Amy

You heard it here first, folks — if her name is Amy and she’s a character in a workplace TV comedy, you can expect her to be both goofy and insanely uptight. Whether it’s your time spent at work, university, or stuck on a school project, almost everyone proactive can relate to the indescribable exasperation of being the “Resident Amy;” she picks up the rest of the team’s slack, she copes with the inevitable social exclusion, she is thrust into a position of intense micromanagement, all for a few passive-aggressive nods and a potential (reluctant) invitation to the group’s weekly trivia night.

Related: Why Brooklyn Nine-Nine Has One of the Best TV Finales Ever

Then, when the going gets too tough and her life begins to resemble a smoldering shambles, she attempts something really horrendous (like cooking a chicken in a microwave), which reaffirms everyone’s fears that she is, in fact, “Craymy.” In other words — you can like her, you can love her, but you definitely don’t want to be her.

5 Jonah

Jonah, the man who frequents farmer’s markets. Who thinks he can unionize staff healthcare by asking everybody to contribute twenty dollars a month. Who actively enjoys Green Day. Despite the cutesy workplace romance he has awkwardly cultivated with Amy, for these reasons Jonah is the Imagine Dragons of the Superstore community (a band he probably, if not certainly, enjoys); when he pops up unexpectedly, you probably won’t sprint away to avoid him, but he’s nothing you’d sit around in wait for. He’s his own kind of neutral cool, in a way. He’s just not the coolest.

4 Sandra

Yes, it’s unfortunately true; hypocrisy is at hand throughout the course of this list, for though other characters like Glenn were penalized for their various moral blunders, Sandra is just too darn wholesome to rank any lower than number four. Sure, she at one point attempted to murder a colleague during a life-threatening tornado, and additionally invented an essentially fake boyfriend Jeff who lavished her with gifts and flowers and terribly Photoshopped trips to Paris, but for these equally heinous crimes against humanity, she deserves every Superstore fan’s forgiveness. It’s not her fault; blame her chronically low self-esteem and all those rats she has to look at and then ignore. She slept with Sal, people. Could there be a bigger cry for help?

3 Bo

Wah, wah, wah! Thank God Bo quit his job dancing for his mom’s friends, or we’d never get to see the utterly hilarious shenanigans that arise from him persistently quitting and rejoining his work at Cloud 9. Amongst other things, Bo is one of the most ridiculous, cartoonish, and idiosyncratic side-characters in TV history, which is probably what makes every moment spent with him on-screen a childish delight — God only knows what he does when Cheyenne is at work, and he is (presumably) in charge of the baby, though. Maybe even asking that question is a solid theme for a spin-off show starring Bo, the wannabe rapper-turned-DJ, as he attempts his own version of “gentle” parenting. He contains multitudes, yo!

2 Garrett

The king of kings. The joker of jokers. The God of bare minimum. Garrett McNeill deserves everything, because he asks for nothing (other than the opportunity to talk about his sneaker collection, obviously). If Mateo’s animal form is a honey badger, Garrett’s is a sloth — cozy, languid, generally apathetic; probably up for eating a Mac’N’Cheese at any given moments. Whether it’s his constant quipping over the in-store announcement system or demanding an “Other” box for a form detailing his relationship with Dina, Superstore wouldn’t be the same without Garrett’s “cool guy” presence. So, despite knowing he would probably hate it, in a world full to the brim with Marcuses, we should all strive to be a little more like Garrett.

1 Dina

Welcome to the long-awaited era of Dina “I’d like to meet your mother and shove you back up inside her” Fox. It won’t be a pleasant one, but if you’re lucky, you’ll probably learn some pretty cool facts about a) pet bird collections, and b) how to most effectively put someone in a headlock. Yes, while Dina is often an underrated character amongst the Superstore fan community (in part due to the fact that she is brash, rude, and possibly the worst person in the world), she is a massive win for the representation of women who look like they could crush your skull like a can of soda. You just can’t help but like Dina. She tries to make you hate her, the rest of the characters try to make you hate her, and even the script in places tries to make you hate her, but really, she will always hold a special (albeit terrified) place in our hearts.